A WAR INSIDE

I am twenty-five,
female,
strong-willed,
and not so naive anymore...

I was nineteen,
female,
strong-willed,
and self-blinded... He was almost forty--
self-serving,
mean-spirited,
and a predator....and he was my friend...
and I am a prisoner....
He is free,
I was prey...I was small...
I am not so strong anymore...

I wish I had inflicted suicide on him...
instead of my soul....
He is free.

spring 2000