MY BLINDNESS

You were strong
You wanted me know
You wanted me to tell you how strong you were
I thought that if I did not challenge you
If I did doubt your strength
You would not have to prove it and
I would not have to pay for it
You were suave
You always wanted me to tell you how fine you were
You were angry because I called you vain
You were you know
You were the vainest person Id ever met
The problem was you were also mean and easily angered
You wanted me to feel violated and weak
I thought if you knew I was scared
If I didnt compete with you for power
If I didnt make you prove you were someone not to be reckoned with
You would have no need to prove it
My blindness was self-inflicted
I was blind because I chose to be
I was blind to your true nature
I thought deep down you were a good man
You were just angry and
That was my doing
I still have to believe that it was you and not me
Or my clothes
Or my mannerisms
Or being at the wrong place with you
Or letting you in my life
I am not blind anymore
I see your crime now
Do you? Do you see how weak you really are?
What did violating me really prove?
That you are violent and mean
I AM NOT BLIND ANYMORE
WHAT A MIRACLE THAT IS

June 2001